I’m Not Giving Up
On October 16th of 2023, I found myself waking up early on a dark Monday morning and writing my resignation letter to a company I had worked for over the last 27 years. I used to joke that it was my longest, long-term relationship to date. It’s sad, but that statement is actually true.
I had been thinking of leaving for several months, feeling alienated and out-of-place despite my efforts over the last 2 years to connect with yet another new regime and their ways of working. In the end, we valued different things, and I decided the disconnect was enough to warrant me leaving. I had explored some outside opportunities, but decided that I would take a break from work altogether. My last day was November 3rd.
I took the 6 months I had planned (plus a few more) to cast off the anxieties and demands of my prior work, reconnect with myself and my family, rest and reflect, and go on a journey of discovery of how I would like to invest the rest of my working years. With an executive coach I continued to contract with after my exit, I built a vision for my future life.
And then shortly thereafter, I received an important text from my best friend, Tess. We had exchanged with one another for years on the frustrating experiences we were having in our careers. Frustrations with overdevelopment, being passed over for consideration and promotion, the day-to-day microaggressions and harassment, but most often, we talked about working for weak leaders who would lean into their own biases and comforts instead of, well, actually leading.
I was lucky enough to have had a handful of senior leaders and direct managers support me during critical times, and even promote me, but I had to work twice as hard as my male colleagues, and wait twice as long. It didn’t come without some scars, but most surprisingly, such impermanence! After some significant changes at the top, it only took a couple of years for the environment to become so toxic, the one thing I had worked so hard for, I willingly released. It wasn’t worth it. And in the end I was still accused of giving up. Right.
I am sick of women reducing themselves to how they are being treated and being blamed for not moving up. I am tired of women being told to look the other way when shit isn’t right because it makes leaders uncomfortable. Who is going to tell the truth about what is really happening? We do not need to be perfect to be capable and deserving. We do not need to work on our “brand” or mirror our male colleagues to make men more comfortable sitting across the table from us. We cannot suppress ourselves and our values for access hoping to one day be seen and heard. The breach that exists today is not our fault or our responsibility. It’s greed and laziness. It’s small mindedness. And it’s discrimination.
Women are born leaders. Our power and influence come from our compassion, our authenticity, and our generosity. We should increasingly be running our own businesses, leading traditional organizations with more impact and sitting at the head of the table when it comes to building and growing communities. This is the only way for women to take the lead in workplace culture - which benefits all - instead of being victimized by it or worse, extinguished by it.
Tess and I want to help women see and be who they are, understand for themselves what is really going on in their career and feel empowered to make life-changing moves that create excitement, bring exponential good, and secure psychological and physical safety in their lives, and the lives of those they care about.
Tess’ text was simple. She said, “Wanna start something?”
Welcome to Saronge.
