When Bullies Lead
The latest wave of federal firings has me angry and sad. Angry that we have someone in charge who is, quite frankly, a bully. Sad because I know firsthand how it feels to work under one.
Yesterday, Elon Musk pulled his usual power move: "Do it or be fired." Then he backed off. Then he doubled down: "Today or else." That hit a nerve for me.
That hit a nerve for me. I once worked for a bully who demanded something eerily similar.
My former boss required me to send a daily report of everything I did for months. When she first asked, she added, "Is that okay?"—knowing full well I had no real choice. I nodded and said, "Of course." But it wasn’t okay. Instead of focusing on my actual work, I spent my time justifying my existence.
And that’s the thing—when a boss asks for this level of reporting, it’s not about productivity. It’s about control. It’s about keeping you so busy justifying your existence that you don’t have time to push back, to think, to plan your exit. And really, if a boss doesn’t know what their employees are doing, isn’t that their failure, not yours? But that’s not the point—the point is punishment.
The day my boss demanded daily reports was the day I started looking for a new job. Six months later, I was gone. She acted shocked, but that’s part of the game. Bullies act surprised when people leave, even though they created the conditions that made it inevitable.
I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to feel stuck. But you don’t have to stay. The first step is realizing you deserve better.
I think of everyone feeling fear and overwhelm right now, watching mass layoffs and public humiliations. It’s all so unnecessary. But here’s what I believe: Bullies might be winning right now, but not for long. The power is in your hands, not theirs. If you, like me, are tired of being bullied, check out our free tool, "Should I Quit?" It’s designed to help bring clarity to your decision—because no one should have to spend their workdays justifying their existence to a tyrant.
The best way to defeat a bully? Walk away and leave them with no one left to bully.
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